Releasing Pain

Releasing Pain, 

It's really silly when you take a second and stop to think about how easily relationships can be made or broken. but It's even sillier when you think about how much the word "love" is tossed around. Love is about sticking around with someone, through the good times and even through the bad. You can't just claim that you love somebody yet up and quit when things get bad. If you are not ready to commit to someone fully and completely do not say that you love them, use words like a "intense liking", because people take love seriously. I don't know what your real intention was when you told me you loved me, but I know it was so fake by the way you treated me today. I told you that people didn't want us hanging out, and you just acted impulsively, told me that you were never going to text me again. It took all of my strength not to just trash you right then and there but I knew that that's something I would have done in the past, and I'm not going to unnecessarily hurt someone even worse because they upset me. Just this one act of self-control has really helped me see that I am changing, I'm getting better at relationships and I'm figuring out that you shouldn't just spill all the hateful words you've been thinking towards someone all along because of one fight, because if you do that, then that's really the relationship ender, If you ever wanted to try and pick back things up and put the back together in the future, the hurt will be there lingering from the words you said, and It would have just been better to say nothing at all. I wish I could have told myself these words with my first relationship haha, I think it would have saved a ton of hurt feelings. But you know, losing you was not a big deal to me, we weren't the closest of friends anyways and you are a drug addict, completely dependent on drugs, you denied that you were addicted, but I think everyone knows you are. It doesn't matter if you "slowed" down on all the drugs, why not just quit them all together? What life is worth living if you can't even get up in the morning for school unless you're high or drunk and living in a different sort of reality. Anyways, Basically. I think that people need to learn that you have to be someone worth liking, and you have to like yourself or love yourself even, for someone else to love/like you back. You can't just expect somebody to love you for who you are, when you hate everything that you are. You have to be proud of who you are, if you have insecurities, work on them. I am. I'm going to lose this weight and be proud of myself when I look in the mirror again. Life is not a easy journey but if everything's not okay, its not the end yet. And I know my end is not for a long time because there are still things that really need to be worked out and fixed in my life. I really wish I could see into the future, even if I wasn't able to change anything, I just want to see whats coming for me. Moral of the story; Love who you are, and others will love you too. It's really as simple as that. 

You are beautiful, no matter what anyone else says. Beauty is really in the eye of the beholder, don't take one persons view of you and make it seem like that's what everyone's opinion of you is, because that's how you trash your self-esteem, especially if that one person was mad at you, they will say anything to hurt you, and I know that from experience.