Broke Patience

Broke Patience,

I literally broke my patience today. I called you, and you answered. You said we couldn't talk yet I insisted, and you handed the phone to her. We talked and all she kept repeating was "Respect my wishes." I wanted so badly to scream at her and say "Fucking Bitch! RESPECT MY FEELINGS, I LOVE HIM." but No.. I kept my head leveled and everything, I didn't cuss or scream or yell or cry. She said she'll call back in a month or sooner and tell me if I can talk to him or not. I don't even know what that means.. Does that mean shes going to break up with him in a month or what? Why is this waiting game so important to her? I don't understand and I'm not going to pretend to understand. All I could do was grit my teeth and say Yes, I respect your wishes and I'll wait. (basically till you decide to end my happiness or let me keep it) She said that she trusted him with all his heart, but I was like.. Why don't you trust him enough to talk to me? and she said Because they made a promise, to stop talking to one person the partner chose and that was me.. She chose me for him to stop talking to. I just want to be his friend, nothing more (I would love more, but we have to play HER game).. Girls can be such fucking bitches. She rubbed in my face that basically she was more important to him and that she was in his life and they were going to get MARRIED soon. I desperately wanted to chew her out but you know, I let it go, and I let her have that satisfaction. Because I know deep down in my heart they won't get married and if they do get married, they won't last a single year. I'm just about done ranting. I'm cooking up some spells, I've never done one before so hopefully this will go nicely and smoothly. Just need to get the supplies. I'm tired and stressed. She also kept calling me "hunny" which in my book is not okay. I do not want to be called hunny when you feel like using that cute name is going to calm me down or something. I don't honestly understand what is so wrong with a friendship with your ex-boyfriend? I don't feel like there should be any awkwardness if you can make up and be friends and forget the past, there should be no reason you have to lose out on a fantastic person like that. It doesn't matter if one person still has feelings for them, all that matters is that there is a mutual agreement to stay friends and that's that. That really shouldn't be so hard, but I guess when you're engaged and so controlling and desperate to manipulate your boyfriend, you do whatever it takes. But that is honestly how I see her now, she is controlling him. And I know maybe that he can make his own decisions and just stand tall to her and tell her no and not do her every bidding but I don't know. I feel like he has changed so much and I don't know who he is anymore, because it's obvious he has told us both two different stories. He told her that he didn't want to talk to me, but he told me that he COULDN'T talk to me because of her, and he enjoyed talking to me, I know he did. We laughed and we got out our secrets and we let out our feelings and angers and frustrations to each other.. and that's what I really need sometimes. I feel so much more relaxed when I can rant to the guy that I'm upset about and hear his reaction than rant to a friend and them just having to be sympathetic and not fully understand and not ever fully give me the satisfaction i'm looking for by ranting.