Nobody Else

Nobody Else,

Alright, wow so much has changed since I last wrote. School has started, first off it's great. I love my classes, I know I am taking all core classes but I believe that I can do this for 18 weeks and just get through it. I love all of my teachers, they are awesome and they all don't mind my nose piercing. I finally feel like we aren't being treated like children. There is a huge work load as far as homework but it is not unbearable. I am doing well as far as grades so far. I messed up by losing some of my math papers and ended up getting late grades on them.. I felt so bad.. and I failed my first math and history quiz but I feel like I'll get better, I just need to focus and keep my attention on the right things. So while we went to Galveston, we had a LOT of fun and I already miss my brother so so so much, we had a long talk and walked all down the side of the ocean and those little things I appreciate so much in this world. My brother will always be the most important guy in my life. I don't care if we fight sometimes or disagree, I will always look up to him and love him. But the most important thing that happened while in Galveston, is that Daniel finally messaged me on facebook one night right as I was about to go to bed.. yeah imagine my surprise. I was like oh my god hell froze over.. But apparently his fiancee had dumped him on their 2 year anniversary, he was HEART BROKEN.. and we have been talking daily ever since :). I was so upset to hear that, honestly.. I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anybody and I hate that she hurt him like that.. I have been by his side since he told me though and I've been trying to just give him as much advice as possible. He called me last night at 11 and woke me up (I didn't mind, I love him.. when you love somebody you do crazy things for them), and we talked for 2 hours.. and he told me he missed me and that he was always happy around me and that he appreciated so much that I was here for him and helping him and that I was so caring. I hate that I'm getting my hopes up that he'd ever love me or want me again.. I'm trying to talk him into moving back to Texas.. he would do so much better here, he has all of his friends and Colorado just isn't his home.. but ultimately I guess it's up to him. He has to let his girlfriend go though, that is the first step to him healing.. She went into a psychiatric hospital and left him completely hanging, I just don't understand her.. I didn't want to know her before and I sure as hell don't want to know her now.. All I know is that they are terrible for each other and I need to do my part to get him to start making his own decisions for himself and becoming mature like he has been missing out on. So of course my mind has been ALL on him.. Hahaha. Uhm, I haven't talked to Frank anymore, anytime I text him he just doens't respond.. I changed his name in my phone to "Douchebag" because that is what he is, that is what he will always be. I should have left him such a long time ago but seriously it's just not in my nature to do that. I care about people a lot. and This month is a YEAR that I have known him, but I guess that's a year too long.. I hate that I hold on to people for too long.. But I think I can firmly say I am done with him. Me and Ashley are doing well again, My friends are school are eh.. I don't have any friends in my classes besides Suz and Jo. I do have lunch with Ashley, her sister, Alexis, Her sister's bf, Gabe and a tiny little freshman boy who hits on me and thinks I'm super hot. I am still dieting. I hit 149.5 today! Finally! Haven't been this weight since May so it's definitely an accomplishment and hopefully I can get to maybe low 140's by the end of the diet on September 8th, that's a long goal but I really want to get there. Then after maintenance I really want to try a 98% vegan diet, I don't know if it will be great for my health but it never hurts to try right?? My period is next week so my mood swings are all over the place, I have had some hard nights but I am definitely pulling through them by having Daniel in my life and having close friends to talk to. Connor is wanting to date, I don't know what to do with that. He's such a friend to me, he honestly is in the friend zone with me and he's just not my type. I appreciate him being there for me but I will never want more with him. Wil hasn't been on my mind much, he never texts or calls, but I guess he is happy in San Antonio, so I rather not even try to bug him. Everything else in my life is pretty good. I got hired at Fresco's Mexicana as a Hostess/Cashier a week ago, but they don't start orientation until late September early October.. So I had my first interview at ihop as a server on Friday, then my second interview today. They both went pretty well, I looked awesome for both of them! They said that the two managers I interviewed with would talk it over and then talk to their boss and call me in a few days so hopefully I can get that job, and figure out if I like it enough before I decide to tell my manager at Fresco's that I don't want to take the job anymore. It has been my dream for a while to work at ihop though. Honestly, I don't even know why. I have just always wanted to be a server! and everyone is like oh well ihop really sucks, I don't care!!! I just need a job and I love working with food and people, so of course waitressing is perfect for me and it's basically my only option at 17. At 18 the world will expand for me but right now it's just limited. I'm nervous to hear back from them.. I will try to keep my blog updated as much as possible.. I am enjoying this 3-day weekend a lot though. I'm not quite sure how my blogs started turning into little life updates, they used to just be about my feelings. But yeah, of course the picture I chose is because I realize my love for Daniel is just overwhelming at this point, I could never ever ever walk away from him. He has treated me like absolute shit and I have still stuck by with him through all of it and I always will. He is the one guy that I can and will do that for. And yes I fell in love with Wil, but it was never the same love that I had for Daniel and I realize that now. It was so much less powerful, Daniel was my first love and he will always have a place in my heart and I told him that. He needed to know. It didn't freak him out, he said that it made him smile.