Drifting Away

Drifting Away,

Everything has been pretty laid back lately, getting all of my homework done on time. The family is good, Me and Daniel are good, most of my relationships are good.. Well at least I thought. So here is what happened that put me off my high horse of thinking that everything was perfect. So earlier this week, we were planning to go to Caitlyn's house because her parents were going out of town for the weekend and we all hadn't hung out for a really long time, so me and Ashley were getting really excited just to get out of the house and hang with all of our friends that we hadn't done since probably February! That's a long time! And then after we made all of the plans at lunch, Alexis decides to text me and tell me that all of the plans were canceled because Caitlyn didn't want that many people at her house. And I was like wait what?! It was going to be 6 people at the most, and we have had plenty more people than that at her house before, so of course I got angry! I knew that it wasn't that reason at all, it was just the fact that they wanted to hang out in their private little group like they have been doing since school started.. just basically pushing us out of the group like we don't even matter. I was seriously really upset and I wanted to give them both a piece of my mind but I just bit my tongue and I said whatever to it. So hopefully tonight me, Ashley, her bf and one of my friend's Connor will be going to hang out instead. I know I said I wouldn't lead on Connor at all but I think he understands that we are just friends, I have made it pretty clear to him. As far as an update on me and Daniel, we are doing pretty well still. He likes to call me every night and talk for at least an hour minimum, he usually talks about Laura for a little bit but then I can get him to change the topic and make him more happier. He is working on just getting over her and I am so glad that he is at least trying. He should be visiting at the end of September, and also in November for thanksgiving. I hope I get to see him this month! I really wanted him to visit in October for Homecoming or Halloween or something but he said his dad didn't want to do that. All well.. Beggars cant be choosers right? I am just glad that he is talking to me and wanting to even be friends with me, that is more than I could ask for in a million years. He has hinted a little bit about getting back together, but not in simple terms.. Or maybe I am just looking into it too much, I'm not sure. He does recall things that happened in our relationship though and we reminisce in those times and laugh about how good we were together and how much fun times and crazy times we shared. I know he misses Texas, and I think he will be moving back.. He said when he comes down he will be looking at colleges and apartments here so I take that as a great sign! My diet is almost done, on Monday! I have decided that I will do the 3 weeks of maintenance just trying to keep the same weight, then have a week to enjoy of meat and carbs and sugar, and then after that go strict vegan. I have been reading a book and doing research on it and I honestly think it is the best choice for me, I don't know how it will effect me mentally but it is worth the try if you can lose weight and also feel better. I worked out for 4 days but then haven't in a few days because I was feeling too weak and lethargic to do it. I will start working out as soon as I am off this diet though, I just need to get my energy back and get the motivation back in (I don't think I've really lost it though). My motivation is just to lose weight until we go to New York In May which gives me about 8 months to lose 22 pounds, which comes out to around 3 pounds a month. Which should be totally do-able! I am excited and I am motivated and I can't wait to go vegan so I can take my mom shopping and go to the whole foods store and get everything that I've been having my eyes on for a while! I also looked at a moped today at the store. For a brand new 2013, it is only 2,000$! And they get like 117 miles a gallon. But they only hold a gallon! Haha. I think it will be perfect though for New York if that is where I decide to go to college. I don't know if I will like it when I get there but I hope I will.. and I hope that once my parents experience it too that they won't dislike it and try to discourage me.. I just hope everything goes according to plan.. I know it probably won't but I want it to at least go close! I made a 94 on my math quiz, the second of the class but a really proud moment for me, I rarely understand math and the fact that I am doing so well so far is making me feel very confident in what I am doing and I don't feel like I am just struggling through everything like I used to with the years of schooling before. I don't know if it's because I have Daniel in my life or if I just have a different attitude toward life or because I am so close to graduating, maybe it is just a mixture of all of those things? I don't know.. I'm counting down to graduation and freedom though. 16 weeks.. Just 80 school days! And that doesn't even include the holidays that we are out for Christmas/new years for like 2 weeks! And a week for Thanksgiving! So it's probably more like 13 weeks or something around there! Ah how exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. I feel like I have grown up in just such a short time. It really is crazy how much just being in high school alone can change you, better and for worse sometimes. I didn't find my way until sophomore year, and I didn't really truly get myself together until the end of Junior year. I really hope that all of my friends can get their lives together as well as I did too.. It would be nice to see them go far in life. I mean my real friends though, not those fake ones that just want to be around you or hang out when you have something they want COUGH (Alexis) COUGH COUGH (She asked me for alcohol) COUGH COUGH.