Chasing Changes

Chasing Changes,

So I'm not sure how I can just sum up all of the crazy that has been going on lately, but I guess I will try. School is starting soon, I'm still dieting with my mom, we have been doing pretty good. We are going to Galveston this weekend to take my brother back to college.. We got two new kittens, and sold Sika. I'm working on selling my snake but not sure if I will get any takers. The kittens are Savannah and Sahara, I paid 200$ each for them, broke my savings completely to get them but hopefully I will make some of that money back in good time.. I applied at sonic today, not sure if I will get a job there but it never hurts to try right? OH! I started having back pain flare ups really bad, I had to quit my job at subway.. They refused to move me to days and I was tired of working pre-closing, breaking my back to do heavy lifting and stuff that my chiropractor said I shouldn't do, so my mom scheduled a appointment with a spinal surgeon on the 27th to go get stuff checked out. My other doctor said he didn't see anything on my x-ray though so we are yet to have any idea what is causing the pain, nothing serious I hope.. I got a MRI a few days ago, that was fun .. sitting in a machine for 40 minutes haha I just kind of let my mind wander.. and of course it wandered to Frank and then to Wil and I just made myself sad thinking about all of the stuff that has changed. Me and Frank are doing better now, we stopped talking for about a week but I texted him again and he's all moved into his apartment and doing better, I don't think I will come on so strong every again though. Wil was texting me a few days ago too and was telling me that he'd move back closer when I got my own apartment, and thats what I was up all night thinking about.. I didn't know what to do for college all of a sudden, just all of a sudden I got this huge thought in my mind that I should change everything.. just study my basics in Texas and not have to financially challenge my family so soon while my brothers in college as well, I just didn't know.. cause then if I stayed here I would be with Wil.. but I never EVER wanted to base my plans around a guy, cause who knows how well we will stay together until January when I graduate.. and even then, I don't have a job currently to even afford a apartment unless I moved in with Ashley and Corbin like she was suggesting. But god, another thing happened with Ashley last night.. which is what just made me hate her in the first place, (If you read this, sorry boo it's my diary), She just acts like her relationship is SO perfect, that they are eachothers soulmates and going to be together forever and get married and everything is going to work out so perfectly.. but in life that is so rare and she won't listen to any reason, and that is why we stopped talking in the first place.. because she was so love struck that she didn't pay attention or care about what anyone said about the risks of planning your entire life around some guy.. but you know it's whatever, I stopped talking to her last night before I got too pissed because I can't stand to talk to someone who thinks that they're always right and don't want to even pretend to listen to reason.. Especially since i've been exactly in her position but noooo we're "different people" and "have dated different guys", surely nothing will happen to her and him.. nope nothing.. cause life always goes exactly as planned.. Ugh anyways. I don't know what else is going on really.. John is begging me to come down to florida for college, I don't think he has really fully realized that if I wanted to be with him, I would, but I don't and I never will.. I know that sounds so harsh but he has no qualities that I want in a guy, at all.. and that is Kaitlyn's cousin, how creepy would that be if we got together, she would have to be at our wedding! Agghghhhhhh I am like cringing from just the idea of that.. No no no no nNoNO. I've been talking to Connor too, but he is going into the navy or marines or whatever, isn't even going to our school this year, But it's kind of hard to tell someone thats MY reason for not dating them, sounds selfish right? But It would be a long distance relationship and he could die, no I couldn't handle that.. He's a nice guy.. Not for me though. Oh.. and about school, I graduate in january officially.. I have aquatic science, goverment, english and then foundations of college math, how fun.. I hate having math at the end of the day but I have a friend in it so hopefully I won't struggle too hard.. OH and I also had a huge change and took out my tongue piercings and my snakebites, and got my nose done instead, I'm not sure what made me want to change everything so quickly and so suddenly but I enjoy it.. I feel like I don't look so punkish and I just look more myself I guess. I don't know, I kind of miss them but they were just in the way, always terrified of them falling out and stuff like that. My nose piercing didn't hurt at all, maybe a 2/10 pain.. I ripped it out accidentally while showering last night though, OW! That one didn't feel good at all haha I need to be more careful but I had gotten soap in my eyes ack  >.<, Everything else will all of my friends is going ok I guess, I haven't talked to too many people over the summer.. I don't know if that will change when school starts either actually.. I feel like this year is going to be very very very lonely...