To Waste

To Waste,

Today is your birthday. And today is also the first day of the winter that it snowed in Texas. Hopefully it'll stick to the ground and we can just have tomorrow off, that'd be great haha. But yeah. Happy Birthday~ You turned 18 today. I texted you and you didn't know who it was, but said thank you =D anyways. I told you who it was and you never answered back.. all well, I didn't expect you to randomly start talking to me again because It's your birthday anyways. I even posted on your Facebook Wall and congratulated you on becoming an adult! I'm not going to let your little witch fiancee take away my rights to wish you a happy birthday. It took me awhile to figure out what I wanted to write... I wanted to say how much I missed you and ask when you're visiting and blah blah, and put a little heart but I knew that your fiancee would NOT be very happy since it's obvious she'll read all your happy birthday wishes like a fucking hawk. But I'll write your birthday wish here instead.

Here's all the things I wanted to say: 

Dear, __________

Today is the day you were born, 18 years ago, and I'm so glad you were. You have brought so much joy and love into my life that I could not imagine life without you, I just want to kiss both of your parents on the cheek and thank them so much because they brought you into this world together. They did a fantastic job and I know that you are trying your best to achieve your goals in life. I love you to pieces and I want to see a lot of changes in your first year of adult-hood! I can only hope that you go far in your life from here on out, I want you to see that a girl should never hold you down and change your life plans into hers. You have a bright future, doing whatever you want to do. I really miss you, Please talk to me and visit me because I'm going crazy waiting for you. <3

I know that he will probably never see this message, I know that there is a possibility that me and him will not ever talk again. But a girl can only hope, wish, and pray. I really wish I knew when you were visiting though. I know it would just make me a feel a whole lot better if you were close to me and not several hundred miles away and in HER arms. She doesn't even deserve you.. and I can't believe that somebody other than me realized how amazing you are.. I was hoping that would never happen... I just want you all to myself. I'm so selfish. But I love you and you drive me fucking crazy. Just talk to me, please. Don't tell me you're going to be with her forever.. You shouldn't even be with her in the first place. You were supposed to be with me forever and ever babe. What happened to those promises? You said we were going to get married? Am I just dreaming? I can't let go, and it hurts. Please tell me that I'm holding on for a great reason, that one day you're just going to change your mind all of a sudden and rush into my arms. Don't let all my efforts and tears I've shed go to waste. I love you way too much to lose you. I've changed so much for you too, I know you can't see it, but you're not giving me a chance.