Making Amends

Making Amends, 

I know it's been a while since I've been on here. A lot has changed since then honestly.. A lot of good and a lot of bad. But my ex and me made amends.. He is allowed to talk to me again and we talked for about a week and he was close to ending his engagement, because he hates her family but they ended up staying together.. and then me and him just kind of stopped talking.. not in bad terms I guess, just both have different lives and I'm so glad that I am coming to accept that and I don't feel so broken inside. I feel like I am healing those little cracks all across my glass mirror one by one and soon I won't look so damaged nor will I feel like it. School has started now.. I was so excited for medical classes.. and I rocked them for the few days that I was in them.. I met this amazing guy.. but about the fourth day into the class I began to doubt my abilities and just wanted to settle in a career that I felt like I was smart enough to do.. culinary.. well the day that I switched my schedule, I got this cute guys number ;) we had been kind of crushing on eachother but never really talked.. but I told him I was leaving the class and he jumped on it to get my phone number hah. Well I don't want to jump ahead of myself I guess but it was the worst mistake of my life to get out of my medical classes. I was perfectly happy in them and just made a quick one night choice and changed into a hospitality class that I hate.. I mean we visit a hotel 3 days a week and I get to work in the kitchen but I miss medical classes.. and that guy.. he's now my boyfriend as of today!!!! (:  Anyways.. trying not to jump ahead.. I keep looking back and regretting switching out of the class but I tried over and over again to talk to the counselor about switching me back in and she couldn't do it due to the policy.. bs, whatever. So I'm stuck in it until October 26th.. I can live.. Anyways.. I'm doing sucky in school... 79 in English.. I feel like a failure honestly.. but I'm trying.. I just suck at writing.. I will never be able to put my thoughts into words very well.. and I sure as hell can't write about crap I don't care about.. It feels like everything is falling together and apart at the same time.. Me and him dated for 5 weeks before we made it official today.. he makes me really really happy. and I'm so glad.. but I know my parents will never approve of him.. I wish they would but honestly I just want to be happy in this moment.. thats all that matters.. I wish he lived closer too.. a 35 minute drive makes things kind of complicated but I've seen him 3 weeks in a row now.. We hung out today and I drove him home.. and I was leaving his house when I hit my tires against the curb of the street I was on going 40 miles per hour.. and there was a gap in the concrete that slashed both of my left side tires.. so I got to stand in the freezing cold for an hour watching my dad fix it and getting pissed off.. Of course my parents were mad that I didn't tell them I was dropping him off but I didn't think they needed to know.. but yeah.. temporary tires and getting new ones tomorrow. OH. I got my first job.. at Domino's.. I love it a lot haha. but I haven't gotten a single pay check yet and I'm already in debt several hundreds of dollars... Forgot to mention I got a speeding ticket.. doing 35 in a 20 school zone.. happened last week sometime.. My court date is on November 1st.. Do you see what I mean about the good and the bad has happened? Yeah.. I feel so much more mature though.. I'm accepting all of this shit in my life and just going with it and trying to not let it bring me down.. It's a good feeling.. I kind of accept it as karma I guess for sneaking around and doing all the shit I've done.. Oh and there was lots of drama with my family a few weeks ago.. but thats a story for another time since this blog post is so freaking long.. Just had so much to say.. I really need to start writing more, it helps me see what I've accomplished and if I'm changing at all.. I'm pretty sure I am. now time to go apologize to an old friend..