So Worthless

So Worthless,

So I've been staying at Lee's house for about a week now, last weekend we were iced in. Right now I feel like shit. Like absolute shit, and I don't know if it's a mood swing or what it is that has made me feel this way but I literally had to leave the apartment for like a hour and a half just to go and drive around and try to clear my head but it didn't work at all so I came back and I'm just sitting here shaking my head because I just don't know what to do anymore about anything.. I mean everything seems to just be going fine and then it all just turns into shit so quickly.. Frank still hasn't talked to me, I have tried texting him every single day since we last stopped talking.. but no response.. and I am shaking so badly because I am that upset and I just don't know how I am ever supposed to survive these mood swings, and I don't even want to begin to let anyone become close to me when I have become such a monster that I don't even recognize myself sometimes. I almost just want to drop everything and end it all and just end my life or something equivalent to that. I was driving and I spaced out and I almost hit the car in front of me, going about 40 miles an hour and I really just didn't want to press down on the brake for a split second, but I ended up pressing it down quickly and jolting myself forward but I guess that is better than killing myself.. Everything just feels extremely hopeless right now. And I'm sorry I can't write anymore.